Up
What is Oskie
Grand Maj
Uncle John
I walked on
House Near Road
Mark

   The Dalton High 1979 / 1980 grad class football team was
 one of the most successful
classes to ever put on a Catamount jersey. We lost the State
Championship game three years straight, and we lost in
the quarter-finals to the team that won State my senior year. 
We played like a team. Double Cheese and I are the
only players that played college level football. Double played at a real
Military School. Bill Dupes came to one of my last games and offered
$1,000 to go to Sweetwater TN and play for his start-up team
Tennessee Military Institute. 

 Don't get confused. TMI was no 
military; other than we lived and practiced on a run down military like
campus with no air-conditioning. $1,000 was one half  the cost
of one quarter of school "High School"; and if you had finished
high school you could pay for, and take college courses
down the road.  
 Now. 
 I was one of the players that needed mostly physical help.
 Many players were from the big leagues and they needed mental
help, "High School That Is", maybe more.
The crew was motley to say the least and that made Bill Dupes just
happy as a lark.

 For time and safety sake I will concentrate on
Landrum right now. I remember a three sided, barracks-like,
old building with a courtyard in the middle just like the military.
On the first day we busied ourselves getting to know our roomies
and setting our stuff up in our meager surroundings.
My room mate was from Cartersville GA and we GA boys got along
just fine. We had both "graduated" High School That Is,
and now only needed time to mature or something like
that. The first morning; I went to the barracks latrine to
----, shower, and shave. As I turned, groggy eyed, to look down the
long row of sinks; I saw Landrum brushing his teeth without using
a common tool, THE SPIT. There he was drooling his toothpaste
down his formidable chest never SPITTING.
"Hey! What's Up?" Landrum says.
Wow!
 I'm thinking this guy is tough. But he was
smiling ear to ear with about a hundred pearly white teeth and ten
minutes of slobber on his bare chest like a little boy. I snickered to
myself and jumped in the shower with no hot water. I had to hurry
because practice was in  2 hours.

Landrum's first day of practice was eventful as was mine.
Landrum was an offensive lineman.
Now; a lineman's  first job is to line up with the other lineman,
tail level with your shoulders,
ready to block a man. We spent 30 minutes just trying to get
Landrum to line up with the other linemen. Then we spent another
30 trying to keep him from squatting turning and looking right at
the player he is assigned to block.
This was fun. This was a riot.
This is true. I was there and so were others.
This is a man who couldn't line up, but he played High School
Football.
Well. After practice I decided we would go pay
Landrum a visit. We go to Landrum's room and knock on the
door. A usually smiling ear-to-ear Landrum meets us with
glee,
"What's up?"  Landrum says.
"Not much. Just wanted to check you out" I say.
"Well come on in".
I survey the room and notice a:
bench press machine, a bed with no sheets, a pillow with no sheets,
nothing in the closet, a clock, a gym bag with hospital scrubs inside,
and a box of Meow Mix on the desk beside the clock.
"Here Kitty Kitty" I call.       "Here Kitty Kitty"
"I don't have a cat."     A smiling Landrum responds to my calls.
"You don't have a cat" I say.
"No" the response from a smiling ear-to-ear Landrum.
"Then why do you have the cat food?"
"That's my snack"...........................................
"O man! Your killing me! You don't eat that do you?" I say
"Yea it's cheap and it taste good. Here try some."
"AWWWWW  give me a break. No way!   No way man!"
This is when I realized all men are not created equal.
I mean there stands a man 6'4" 240 lbs with about a hundred
pearly white teeth. All three of these I would kill for.

  Well after a week or two things iron out a bit and Landrum can
line up now. We are getting bored with each other and we decide
to go out to the Sweetwater High School Football Game looking for girls.
After all that's what football players do isn't it?

 I decided Landrum would be fun so I gather Landrum and my roomie
and we head out into the Sweetwater TN night. It doesn't
take long till we find some High School girls and we stop.
"Landrum! Say something man!" (I'm afraid to start conversations myself so Landrum
came in real handy as and ice breaker I THOUGHT!)
"Uhhhhh! What kind of tooth paste do you use?" Landrum says
The girls giggle thinking we are playing with them.
After all High School is pretty young on the love language scale.
Landrum has a hundred pearly whites. They give us time.
"Come on Landrum say something."
"How much do you bench press?"
"What's Bench press?" One girl responds.
                   No.  No. No.      He didn't say that did he?
Yes he did. It's funny now, but not then.
I mean really.
"Come on Landrum something good" I whisper
"Well how fast do you run the forty?" Landrum quizzes
I just can't believe my own two ears.
They start to walk. And Landrum asks one more question
"Well how much do you weigh then?"
This is the end of the most astounding set of pick-up lines
I have ever heard in my lifetime.     I think so.
We get through this night like the first day of practice. 
NO WOMEN.
Days go past and TMI is killing all the B-Teams. We go
to Maryville college  TN for another "TMI can't pass high school butt whipping."
Somewhere after half time, with my famous Uncle looking
on; TMI and Maryville clear the benches in brawl of all brawls.
We have about 40 guys and they have about 80. It's ugly! After
about ten minutes of beating each other up we all get tired and
the fight winds down, except two guys in the middle.
Is that Landrum? It is! He won't let go of a choking man's neck.
We pull on Landrum like a dog crazy in a fight. He won't let go and
the man is turning blue.
"Landrum" Bap " Landrum" Bap "Landrum let go man"
But Landrum won't let go.
We finally get Landrum loose and to the sidelines.
Landrum looks dazed like he's the one who has been choked
by 6'4" 240.
"Landrum what were you doing? How long were you going to
choke that man? We ask
Thinking! Shaking his head! Landrum answers!
"As long as it took man."
"Your ARE kidding me. 
What do you mean?"  We ask
"As long as it took...He hit Frank and I didn't like it." Landrum responds.
(Frank was a 6 foot three inch 260 pound South Carolina prospect who didn't 
pass High School like Landrum and really didn't need any physical help)
"You don't mean you were going to keep choking him do you?"
"Well he shouldn't have hit Frank." Landrum says
Landrum didn't drink smoke or cuss but he was going to
kill that man. I believe that. And I know that man
believed it.

  Near the end of the killing season, Bill Dupes decides to
give us a long weekend till Tuesday.
Landrum decides he will hitch-hike about 40 miles
north to his home in Loudon.
Landrum packs his meager gym bag and is gone.
Well Tuesday comes and goes and no Landrum.
Wednesday and no Landrum. Coach Dupes is worried
but doesn't know who to call about Landrum.
On Thursday Coach finally gets a call from a
Sheriff wanting to know if a Landrum plays football
for him. Coach Dupes explains. "Yes you have my offensive
tackle, whom we have considerable time and
money invested." So the sheriff brings Landrum to Sweetwater
in the back of a patrol car.

You see Landrum was hitch-hiking in Hospital scrubs
on Interstate 75 carrying a gym bag full of his favorite snack
Meow Mix, telling the cops he was playing football for
Tennessee Military Institute in Sweetwater TN.
Well there's not a cop in the world that would fall
for that story and they took him straight to the funny farm.
It took Landrum two full days just to convince the cops to try
to call Bill Dupes.

This story is completely true. I have witnesses.